


Fight To Lie

by IdlePace



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Sexual Content, Teencast, Valentine's Day, use of strong language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 22:56:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2086254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IdlePace/pseuds/IdlePace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teenage life in high school is confusing in many aspects, but when it comes to love, especially on Valentine's day, nothing really makes sense anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fight To Lie

Dull bricks walls and low ceilings with yellow buzzing lights were all too familiar within the constricting school. It was prison that forced a labour intensive curriculum down the student’s throats demanding results no less than gold. Perky colour filled posters and banners that advertised school events and other happenings were merely a concealer to the cracking façade of the school board. No allowance in time to let the mind wander the building ever gave, but at minimum it offered shelter from the raging blizzard outside.

The assigned metal lockers gave no privacy with easy to crack locks and large enough vents to slip unwanted items into the compartment. Rythian knew he should never expect to open his locker to any pleasantries or conversational notes. Deep in the back of his mind he _knew_ it would just be another atrocious thing stuck to his locker door or a new trigger concoction to ruin his day.

“Rythian..?” The spunky red haired girl poked her bony friend to capture his attention.

Gazing off to his side he met with a bubbly smile, “Oh, hi Zoey.” He whispered, pushing a long arm to gently pat her head. “How are you doing?” His voice crumbled under his exhaustion.

“I’m doing awesome!” Zoey gave a small twirl, fluttering her hands about the air, “How can you be so gloomy on a day designed for love and happiness and- and candy!” She almost let a giggle slip as she turned around to the brooding Rythian. “Oh mister grumpy pants,” She teased giving his shoulder a shake, “What’s on your mind?”

Shifting his sight back to the locker he’s had since freshmen year Rythian couldn’t hold back a shudder, “There’s something in my locker.” He stared at the familiar metal as if the boogieman himself was being stowed away within it.

“Well that’s just silly! You’re silly!” Zoey laughed as she straightened her over the top decorated backpack, “There’s _always_ something in your locker! Always some kind of new jib-a-jab from Lalna.” She straightened the pin on her bag strap that exclaimed _‘Free Hugs’_ in large rainbow letters, “It’s kind of like an elementary school yard crush. Always bugging you to get your attention.” She elbowed the tall man, “I think he likes you.”

Since the beginning of the daily mysteries placed in his locker Rythian knew Lalna had an interest in him, but it was more of a, deleterious interest. The constant questions in the hall or texts, and every single time like clockwork, at the end of the school day Lalna would ask what Rythian thought about the different items. Rythian’s answers would be an array of colourful answers to simple one word cusses, even to melancholy details about how it ruined his day and describe how he would enact revenge in every minuscule detail. No sane human being would put so much commitment into a person just to bug them; Lalna had some sort of sick fascination with him, and like the socially defective person he was, was always testing his limits.

Rythian had been dreading this day since he had come to the conclusion about Lalna’s desire to torment him. Now that the particular day had fallen on a weekday, he had to face his trepidation. “What if he put something _different_ in?” Rythian took a cautious step back.

“He always puts something different in!” Zoey smiled, organizing the text books in her bag and exchanging them for ones from her locker. “Remember the one time he gave you a Venus fly trap because he said that you’re so smelly you must attract flies? That was clever.” She failed to supress a giggle, “Or what about that time he made a homemade smoke bomb that went off once you opened it? I was getting blue powder and sparkles out of my hair for weeks!” She smiled fondly back to when she shed bright glitter like she generated it naturally, “I think the worst was when he put a jar of fake eyes in there. Remember when we freaked out thinking they were real and you started accusing him of murdering someone? Gosh, was that funny to watch!”

Huffing, Rythian gave in and began putting the numbers into his lock, “He made a great spectacle when he proved they were fake candied eyes by eating one. Looking back now, I don’t know how I was fooled into thinking they were real when they so obviously weren’t.” Finishing with rotating the numbers into their proper place he unhooked the lock, “You should have seen the smug look he had on his face…” He immediately stopped the beginnings of a smile, gripping the lock tightly in his palm.

Staring at the dented handle Rythian still debated on whether or not he should just leave the locker alone, pretending it didn’t exist, “You going to open it..?” Zoey whispered; the excitement was purely evident in her voice.

With another sigh Rythian braced himself as he swung the door open in one full motion. His wide eyes blinked heavily as small foil wrapped objects tumbled like a waterfall off of the top shelf, pooling at his feet. Beside him Zoey squealed with glee, bending down to pick one up for examination, “They’re little purple hearts!” She squeaked again, throwing the selected one into the air before catching it gracefully.

Rythian watched Zoey bow back down to pick up more that had spilled onto the floor. He didn’t know what to make of this type of surprise. He had become used to the locker shocks that stained his notes or the ones that were such elaborate jokes that always had an attached letter to explain the thinking behind it. Lalna never missed an opportunity to gloat.

“That’s it,” The idea of a potential letter struck Rythian with more hope than he should have had for the situation; “There should be a note.” He checked the inside of his locker door and underneath his textbooks before he realized if there was a note it would be placed in the most inconvenient spot possible; underneath the heaping pile of purple hearts.

Praying that the hearts were the only thing within the pile and not a waiting trap, Rythian cautiously dug around knocking more to the floor. He felt victorious as his fingers brushed along a piece of paper. With a minimum amount of struggle he managed to slip it out without knocking more hearts down. “Ooh a note! What’s it say?” Zoey bounced in place trying fruitlessly to look over Rythian’s shoulder.

Rythian turned the paper over before opening up the folds to find the contents. If Lalna was a regular person, Rythian might have been concerned about the picture, but a hand drawn image of an anatomically correct human heart just seemed so, normal. Rythian couldn’t help but look it over, surprised by the detail in shading and how every line looked as if it was drawn with careful precision. The picture clashed dangerously with the muddled writing below it:

_Rythian,_

_Did the hearts startle you? You would not believe the looks I got when I bought ten bags of them. They’re chocolate…_

Holding his place in the letter Rythian looked over to Zoey who had already figured this fact out and was happily munching away on them. He chuckled before continuing on,

_And they have caramel inside them!_

“I hate caramel…” Rythian mumbled, kicking a stray one that still lay on the floor to clang into the bottom of his locker. He resumed reading,

_And I know how you hate caramel,_

Rythian scrunched his face, creasing his brow, “That twisted…” He sighed, determined to finish the note with no more interruptions.

_I knew you wouldn’t eat them anyway even if they weren’t caramel filled seeing as you have trust issues with me. But I think Zoey enjoys caramel, besides; purple is your favorite colour right? Or are you going to change it now because I know that? Anyway, probably see you at lunch today; try not to don’t die before then._

_-Lalna_

Rythian stared at the note, almost unfazed from the normality of the contents, but something off to the corner of Lalna’s signature caught his eye. Something, uncommon, “Is that..?”

Air didn’t seem filling enough as Rythian began to hyperventilate, taking more breaths than there were passing seconds. He dropped to a crouch, clutching the paper tightly before ending up on his knees. Zoey scrambled around not knowing how to help. She settled on dipping down next to him to rub his back and demonstrate paced breaths, “You’re gonna be okay Rythian. Just think about breathing slowly.”

Zoey curiously peered over at the note, only catching a glimpse of the drawn heart before Rythian brought it into his chest. “There was emotion…” He choked out, his mind whirling as it tried to process the information. “Lalna had a reaction… it seems crazy but he was….holy shit.”

“Rythian, language…” Zoey gritted her teeth, keeping him in check as he vented.

“Zoey, do you understand what this means? He’s not as apathetic as he lets on… towards me.” He whispered out the last words, almost afraid of them. Closing his eyes Rythian could feel his breath steady out. He never thought anything towards the objects that were placed in his locker, always assuming the actions were only staged fun, Lalna toying with him but now with this letter, with _that_ mark… he began to doubt his past conclusion.

Rythian now wondered if there were actual feelingsbehind the mask Lalna wore. With his lack of social ability, was there more to the sick fascination Rythian always pinned it to. Was Rythian’s actions pushing him down and further away to impulse him to-

“Oh my god…” Rythian’s hot breath began to slow, “I did that. I made him… I-“ His voice cracked as he made eye contact with Zoey. The red head boggled her eyes as she waited impatiently for Rythian to continue.

Gradually, he formed a smile, “Lunch can’t get here fast enough.”

~

Clattering trays and countless murmuring groups dotted the spacious main cafeteria, painted with large school murals and heavy stone pillars to keep the open area standing. The fathomless unending lunch line was a tedious weekday chore Rythian was thankful he could avoid. He may miss out on gravy drizzled fries but his daily packed lunch was a much better option than spending more than half his break time standing in a line.

Maneuvering around pushed about tables and chairs filled with set groups of people, Rythian tried to make his way as quickly as possible to where his usual group of friends and slightly better known acquaintances always sat. It was practically a seating plan by now.

Rythian slowed his feet as he came up to the plethora of familiar faces turning to greet him. He gave his usual gentle smile and nod to acknowledge them before heads turned back around to their separate conversations. His ears picked up talks about what new book Nano was reading, how Lomadia’s animal shelter volunteering was going and something about how Honeydew re-enacted a movie scene in class for a presentation. Everything seemed perfectly normal, until Rythian noticed something key was missing.

“Where’s Lalna?” His voice drifted over the others, pausing their talks again.

“Why are you asking?” Honeydew answered as he swirled a chicken nugget into some strange dipping sauce, “Never thought I’d see the day where you would actually willingly think about him.” He chuckled to himself, letting everyone who was listening recount the vivid arguments the two always got into.

Rythian tightened his hanging satchel, “I was just wondering…” He mumbled out, almost embarrassed.

Taking a step of kindness, Xephos piped up to offer his assistance, “He came by here a few minutes ago muttering about homework or something. I think he said he was going to go sit and eat his lunch by the windows to get it done.” Xephos pointed using the end of his sandwich towards the square windows boarding the far wall.

“How did he seem?” Rythian pushed his luck to try and find any sort of information about the situation he might be walking into.

“He was like his regular self pretty much. Why? Did something happen between you two again?” Sjin gestured his hands around in the air to demonstrate a mock argument. Beside him Sips mirrored it back playing along with the scene.

Grumbling out a negative response Rythian set his sights on the far windows, “I’ll fill you guys in later… probably.” He held his hand up to his signal his departure before backing up, catching the beginnings of another conversation before he was completely out of earshot. 

“Hey Xephos, heard you were snogging with the prep squad leader.” The chipper voice of Sjin was easy to distinguish.

“Lies and slander. That’s all it is.” Xephos answered firmly, his lie fooling no one.

Rythian finally released a laugh once the voices of his friends mixed back in with the murmurs of the rest of the cafeteria. He knew Zoey would bombard him with an array of questions when she would get to the usual lunch table and not find him there, but he could worry about that after the confrontation with Lalna. Rythian was determined to have answers.

Again he slowed his over determined steps as he reached the wall lined with windows. Rythian might have been enticed on any other day to stop to admire the small view of the outdoors they were permitted during lunch, but the heavy snow fall devoured any scenic appreciation. His eyes instead fell onto the curled up blonde sitting on a thick window sill three panes to his left. His nose was buried deep into a book held up by a casual hand along with his knees that were pulled tightly to his chest.

Rythian approached with caution, as if he was sneaking up on a small forest creature hoping not to startle it. He set his bag down on the ground beside the sill and perched himself on the ledge, turning his head gently to face Lalna. Examining the spine of the book in Lalna’s hands Rythian had to squint to make out all the fine print that spewed scientific titles like wild fire.

“Are you actually reading that?” Rythian spoke slowly, still acting not to startle the other. He waited patiently as Lalna shuffled in place to pull out a glossy comic book from behind the thick text, “Ah…” Rythian acknowledged the item with a nod before setting his tongue back to rest.

Placing both the comic and the text down Lalna pulled his knees closer. “You really think I’d be reading something that heavy duty on my break?”

Chuckling, Rythian found he lacked the answer and decided to readjust his sitting position. He stared back at the blonde, watching how his hair threatened to drape in front of his eyes. As Rythian’s thoughts stilled he noticed how quiet the space was in contrast to the rest of the cafeteria, as if the windows were devoid of any sound.

“What did you think of your locker surprise today?” Lalna broke the silence with his barely audible tone.

Rythian blew out a short stream of air as he readied his nerves. Slipping his hand into his front pants pocket he pulled out a severely folded piece of paper. He opened it to reveal the note Lalna had put in his locker earlier that day.

“You… you kept it?” Lalna tilted his head to the side, completely shocked by the action. “You’ve always trashed everything…” Again Lalna tried to pull his knees impossibly closer.

A strange clench was felt in the back of Rythian’s mind. He had never seen Lalna this way before; he was usually confident, reckless and brash, nothing like the way he was now.

Lalna picked up on the pity in Rythian’s eyes as he instantaneously changed his demeanor. “Yeah actually, you better keep that. Do you know how hard it is to draw anatomy that correctly? Don’t know why I even bothered to take time out of my day to draw that for an ass like you cause obviously it didn’t freak you out like it was supposed to.” He stretched his frame, laying his legs along the sill, “I think I need to step up my game, maybe put some false pens that explode when you click them into your pencil case or something.”

Rythian watched the change of display with placid eyes, trying not to fall back into the easy rhythm of insult tossing he was so used to. He held back the desire to reach out and continue to test his limits by quickly settling his concentration purely on the drawing, “This was quite beautiful. The amount of detail you put in, it kind of reminds of a drawing you’d see from an old renaissance book.” He taped the page to give emphasis to his words. “I never knew you had the talent to do something like this.”

Silence lingered on longer than was comfortable as Lalna refused eye contact; instead he chose to stare out the window. Rythian wondered if he had over stepped a line somewhere but tried not to worry as he concentrated on the large huff Lalna gave, “Well that’s rich coming from you.” He stuck his palm to the glass window, “Next you’re going to tell me that you actually liked the purple hearts, because I know that would be a lie. You’ve always hated caramel and what kind of comeback would it be if you pretended-“

Presenting one of the small purple hearts in his hand Rythian promptly cut off Lalna’s words. “I tried one.” He rolled the chocolate around between his fingers, “It was pretty good since the caramel in it wasn’t very much.”

“Stop it.” Lalna’s words fell out in a short panic.

“They were good, thank you. Zoey had some too, but I kept most of them.” Rythian pocketed the lone heart as he stared gently back at the blonde, “I wanted to ask you about your note…”

Lalna’s fingers vainly grasped at the window, “There’s nothing to talk about so shut up.” His words were spat out with a quick roll of the tongue. “Shut up and go away.”

“But there is something about this note; it’s different from the ones before.” Rythian repeated his action of tapping a finger on the note over and over to accentuate his words, “All the others were distant and clinical… this one had a slip up. You were emotional when you wrote this.”

The blonde’s voice cracked as he mock laughed, “You always read too far into things don’t you Rythian? What, did the words magically speak to you? That conclusion of yours is totally bogus.” Lalna’s eyes were fixed on the storm outside, trying to negating the growing one around him.

Rythian sighed as he looked back down to the note, “It’s true, I know it; you were emotional when you wrote this.”

“How do you so confidently know?” Lalna’s voice grew in size. “How can you be so fucking sure of yourself?”

“Because of this!” Rythian interrupted louder than he anticipated, “This right here,” His finger was placed diligently above one irregularity in the paper, one small round water mark. “I know you were emotional because of this. And don’t try telling me that you spilt water on it or even that you spat on it because that would show more marks. This is just a single drop of water, too lone to be anything else.” Lowering his voice Rythian looked back up, “You were crying when you wrote this.”

Lalna’s fingers tensed under the pressure he was applying to the window, still refusing to look Rythian’s way. Everything grew silent, but for a noiseless moment Rythian couldn’t even hear Lalna breathe. Pushing the note aside Rythian turned his body fully around to face Lalna, “Talk to me.” His voice ghosted over his lips, “Lalna, look at me.” Rythian leaned forward, pressing for answers.

“I can’t…” Lalna barely moved his mouth as he spoke.

“Yes you can, just, look at-“

“I CAN’T BECAUSE THEN IT WILL BE REALITY!” Lalna slammed a heavy fist against the durable glass, grinding his skin into the smooth surface.

Rythian inched back, surprised by the sudden outburst, “Lalna…” He sighed moving forward again.

“Don’t-Don’t come any closer!” Lalna warned scrunching his eyes together as he tightened his hands into fists.

Heading the warning Rythian stopped his movements, “Lalna, you need to look at me.” His voice grew stern as he began to shed his previous caution.

Lalna forced his head into the glass pane, rubbing his forehead back and forth along it. He took in a deep breath before halting his action, “I’m afraid…” His words were so quiet Rythian almost missed them, “The unknown, I’m afraid of it…”

Rythian smiled carefully, “If you turn around then it won’t be unknown, it won’t be scary.” Tilting his head to the side Rythian tried to get a better look at the blonde’s face. The metaphorical mask Lalna always had was full of cracks; it was coming apart at the seams. Rythian could practically see pieces cascade off. All he needed to do was give the extra push for the real Lalna to come into being. “Where’s that unsatisfied curiosity of yours?”

It took seconds that could be counted on one hand for Lalna to gradually open his eyes, followed by an entire lungful of air before he slowly turned his head around. Rythian tried to keep his expression as calm as possible even as he saw the quivering vulnerability almost pouring from Lalna’s eyes. He never knew Lalna to be fearful of anything.

“Tell me Lalna,” Rythian spoke softly, keeping his attention directly on the other’s face, “Why were you crying?”

Lalna’s eyes flickered away, shying from the question, but Rythian held still to try and keep his attention, “Do you know… could you possibly even understand how much effort it takes to make a new surprise for you, every day?”

The words hit Rythian deep in the core of his mind. He had never once thought about what Lalna might go through to create a new item in his locker. “Of course it’s not every day. There are weekends, holidays and sometimes week long breaks, but still… do you know how many days?”

Rythian shook his head silently, shifting the fabric of his shirt. Lalna scoffed quietly, “Yeah, you would never think about such a thing like that would you?” Pushing himself away from the glass Lalna turned around to directly stare back, “Give or take a few, it’s been about four hundred and seventeen days. That’s four hundred and seventeen different times I came up with something new.”

Finding it hard to keep his jaw from dropping Rythian grasped his mouth in shock. He never knew it had been that long; all the days at school seemed to meld into one big blur making him lose count, “Why did you,” Rythian’s voice cracked under the new pressure, “Why did you do that, for so long?”

Lalna slide a small smile to the corner of his face, down casting his eyes, “It was a shitty idea…” He gently rubbed his hands together, offering himself some comfort to continue, “It sounds strange saying it out loud but… I guess I wanted you to notice me. You were always so clam and stoic, i-it caught my eye. It was so new from what I’ve ever encountered. Someone so, quiet and kind compared to the constant hyper energy I was used to being around.”

Wrapping his arms around his chest Lalna pulled his legs back in, forming into a ball again, “You were just so different and that made me think more about you, and the more I thought about you the more I had to know about you. I wanted to know what you liked, what classes you hated, who you hung around with, it almost became a need to know, like I almost couldn’t sleep if I didn’t know.”

Lalna pulled his limbs in tighter, grasping at anything to keep himself calm, “I thought I was just curious, like I kind of am with everything. That eventually I would get bored and find something else to focus on, like maybe lasers or deep sea creatures.” A long, exasperated sigh was drawn out form Lalna’s lungs, “But it didn’t happen, you were still on my mind, even at the end of freshmen year, I couldn’t stop thinking about you… I knew something really wasn’t right when… when…” Lalna closed his eyes, keeping everything that was beginning to build up at bay.

Rythian swallowed with strain, “When what..?” His voice lacked its usual velvet tones.

“I knew…” Lalna’s face shot up, “I knew something was wrong when I called out your name in the dark, alright?!” He spewed the words as if they were on fire.

Utterly shocked Rythian hid his face deep within his hands, “Jesus Christ…” He mumbled out between his fingers. “Jesus fucking Christ Lalna.”

“Oh God, I know!” Lalna bashed his head against the brick behind him, “It’s fucking sick, but it just sort of happened… b-but just that thought made it _so_ much better…” 

Rythian released an uneven sigh, “Fuck…” He stuttered out, nervously brushing his hands through his hair.

Lalna rubbed furiously at his eyes, “Do you know how confused I was? One second I’m comparing you to be as interesting as a jellyfish, then next thing I’m lying in bed, spent, with your name buzzing my ears.”

Lalna cringed as he pushed more pressure to his eyes, “There were no books about it, and I couldn’t go to the guidance councillor about it. I was left to try and figure out what the fuck was going on in my head by myself.” Lalna’s hands awkwardly covered his face, as if to hide from the disordered expression in front of him, “Do you know how terrifying that was? I didn’t know what to think of anything! It was like my whole world had just been flipped on its head.”

Rythian cleared his throat, “The locker and…” Was all he could spit out as a sense of guilt ran ramped through him.

“I started putting things in your locker so you would pay attention to me. It was like a fucked up way of expressing everything that was building up inside me. The first time you approached me to yell about breaking into your locker, it was weird because I was so excited that you were actually talking directly to me.” Lalna freed another sigh, “Six days I spent on that wind up robot, not to mention gathering up the courage to put it in your locker. It was the first thing I put there and the first thing you smashed.” 

“It was strange,” Pulling his hands away from his face Lalna leaned his cheek against his knees, “I should have probably stopped trying right then and there. Any normal person would have probably broke into tears, but I guess being the, how do you put it? Social defect?” Rythian lowered his gaze, ashamed of his words, “Yeah, that’s the one. Being the social defect that I am, guess I just couldn’t take a hint. So I kept trying, deciding to keep changing things up, afraid that if I just repeated myself you wouldn’t have new encouragement to come and be angry at me again. I craved any kind of responsiveness, even if it was negative… ”

“Lalna…” Rythian shook his heavy head back and forth, “I’m so sorry…”

Lalna shrugged, “I guess after so many days of trying and just not being able to communicate the shit that was going on in my mind, I just kind of broke. I felt too defeated to keep trying.” Looking out the window with hardened eyes Lalna tried to finish his thought without slipping words, “Today was going to be the last day I tried. I thought Valentine’s Day would be iconic you know? Either I would actually do something different out of the spirit of the day or it would serve as a good reminder for future me not to be such a fuck up.”

Sharp senses caught the edge of the folded note, “I didn’t realize I was crying till I signed it… I didn’t even think you’d notice the mark. Thought you might just crumple the note and toss it away like the others before it. I thought I would be able to move on if I tried to just cut that part of myself out.” Lalna choked out his last words, his vision hazing over.

“No, Lalna,” Rythian found the power behind his voice again, “Don’t think like that. I should have noticed. I should have tried talking rather than going straight to anger.” Rythian inched himself closer to the blonde, “I didn’t know how to act when all of a sudden there was so much attention on me from one single person. It was weird…” 

Lalna wrung his fingers in his palms, unable to reply. “It was a shock for me to have someone who I only knew from previous classes, know almost everything about me. Though that doesn’t excuse my actions… Did you really work for six days on that little robot?”

Lalna nodded meekly.

“And I smashed it; I’m such an idiot…” Rythian pushed a hand into his cheek, “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have acted like that…”

“It’s okay…” Lalna sighed, moving his arms to wrap around his legs.

The two sat quietly, watching the rabble of the distant groups. Tables of people were only a few feet away but it felt like worlds away, not a single person spared them a glance.

Rythian shuffled closer again, “Can I, tell you something..?” He whispered out.

“I think it’s only fair seeing as I basically spilled my guts to you.” Lalna snickered lightly, keeping his vision looking past the other and off to the mural covered wall.

“I’ve kind of… had a curiosity about you too.” Rythian’s eyes darted away as he worried his lips.

Lalna snapped his jaw forward in disbelief, “You’re shitting me. You’re just saying that to make me feel better you idiot.”

“No!” Rythian sputtered, “I’m serious…”

“No you’re not serious; you’re just being an ass.” Shifting around Lalna grabbed the edge of the window sill to pull himself up, “I was expecting a lot of things as your reaction but this is just the worst. You disgust me.” 

“Lalna,” Rythian’s voice squeaked, a sound so odd coming from the tall boy it halted Lalna’s departure, “Just please listen to me, I want to be truthful with you, as you were with me.”

Lalna tried not to regret his decision as he sat back down, “Okay, say your piece.” He mumbled out, looking away.

It was Rythian’s turn to fumble with his fingers and plan out his words, “Our first class we had together, I thought you such a cocky moron. Answering all the questions the teacher asked and being more than happy to write answers on the board. I almost loathed you because of it.” Rythian’s eye flickered up to the ceiling as he sighed, “But like what happened with you, because I kept you on my mind for so long, you kind of took up permanent residence.” His clasped hands tightened, “I wanted to be angry at you, I wanted to hate you, but then I would picture your big goofy smile when you felt so proud of yourself and I just couldn’t harbour any negativity towards you.”

“When I found out that you broke into my locker, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to prove that I did hate you. To be angry at you face to face would have confirmed that I only thought about you because I hated you…” Rythian grasped onto his knees, preparing himself, “But after I yelled at you, all I felt was hatred towards myself. Everything I said, I regretted immediately.”

Lalna’s crossed arms loosened as he continued to listen. “Then why did you always do the same thing if you regretted it?”

“I don’t know,” Rythian lowered his head to rest in his hands, pushing fiercely back at his hair, “I guess at the beginning I did it to hide all the strange things I was feeling, but every time we fought I felt like shit afterwards… Till I convinced myself that it was all because of you. That you were the reason I felt like shit because you just wanted to toy with me, that you enjoyed infuriating me.”

“I convinced myself that you hated me, so that I could have the power to hate you.”

A shiver ripped through Lalna like a crack of lightening. The words struck deep as he found himself at a loss for words. Reaching out a shaking hand Lalna pushed his fingertips through the air, aiming for Rythian’s arm but frozen right before his skin. The visible quiver in his hand ghosted light waves of wind against Rythian’s pulling his attention to the extended appendage. He looked at it inquisitively, not quite understanding what was happening. Lalna was so used to being forced to stay distant; his embedded reaction wouldn’t allow him to close the gap between them.

Smiling, Rythian grabbed Lalna’s hand. The blonde gasped and shivered again feeling as a stranger to the contact. Pulling Lalna’s hands over the extra inch he placed the warm hand on his arm, holding it there. Rythian could see the vulnerability back in Lalna’s eyes, the unsteady pupils staring directly at the skin to skin contact. 

“I don’t understand this,” Rythian began, his hand still holding Lalna’s firmly against his skin, “I really don’t understand any of this.” Extending his other hand Rythian placed a gentle palm to Lalna’s knee. The action visibly calmed the other, his face relaxed as he released a held breath. Rythian gave a reassuring squeeze to Lalna’s leg as he pulled his other hand away. “So let’s not understand this, together.”

Lalna’s fingers gave a small experimental push at the skin underneath them, breathing deeply as he felt years of pressure, self-hatred and stress shed off of his shoulders. He gazed back up at Rythian. His encouraging smile seemed to fill such a vast emptiness that Lalna had always prayed to be filled. He could feel his heart pump confidently within his chest, the pounding echoing to the top of his head. He swept his hand down Rythian’s arm to grasp at the waiting fingers, closing his hand around them.

“Okay,” His words glided out softly, air billowing at his lips, “Together.”


End file.
